thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
