ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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