i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
