This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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