At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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