I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
