some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He did a backflip because drugs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
