She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
