You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
