First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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