I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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