Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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