Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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