Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
