lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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