You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
