Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
