It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
