My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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