If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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