She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
