Small penises have feelings too.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize