I'm gonna have a badass scar
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
