i think my tv is drunk
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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