im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
