I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
