Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
