i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize