I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize