So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
