I want to have your abortion
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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