she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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