Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
