don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
