Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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