we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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