I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
