The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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