dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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