Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm both gender and math confused
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize