All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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