First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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