He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
