drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
