I just made out with a guy for $7.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
