I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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