yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
