ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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