I wanna bring you to show and tell
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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