i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
