Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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