Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
