Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
