nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
