I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
