she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
