Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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