Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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