Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
