bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
