I can tuck mytits in my pants
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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