It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
