Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
